Thursday, 14 June 2012


I've spent most of my adult life, hell most of my entire life, skulking around the depths of the internet. I've visited the dark and twisted corners of the collective human psyche and seen things you wouldn't nay couldn't conceive. Through my life I have happened upon a simple truth, that everyone has there own unusual appetites and everyone is entitled to them. If you wish to dress up as a teddy bear and throw custard at women feel free to do so. I see nothing wrong with furry food fights between consenting adults, it's not my particular brand of vodka but you have at it. I can even see how ones mental development may take them down that path... cartoons have a lot to answer for. Equally I'm not the kind of person who wants to spend twenty hours a week engulfed in the realm of Azeroth... is it Azeroth? I dunno whatever the place in World Of Warcraft is. However I can utterly see the appeal of it but I'd rather keep some of my free time for my other gaming commitments. Again I'm not the biggest fan of religion but I also don't want to disappear back down the rabbit hole of creationist debate websites, they may be fun but I don't want to waste hours of my life on it when I could be doing something productive. I understand that it's a bit rich for me to say that whilst blogging. The point I'm drifting towards is that I have a passing knowledge of a huge number of human quirks and I those that I cannot understand I can at least accept. Except Bronies.. fuck bronies.
Bronies, for those of you fortunate enough to have avoided contact with this subculture, are grown-ass men who straight up fucking love My Little Pony. Specifically they love the animated series My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic. Now in the interests of journalistic integrity I have of course watched a couple of episodes of the show and can report... hahaha of course I haven't watched it. As much as I hate people who judge things without watching it and as much as I dismiss people who write off Harry Potter and Skulduggery Pleasant as 'for kids' My Little Pony is for kids. Kids is of course an exceptionally broad term though, so let's be clear. I dismissed My Little Pony as being 'for kids' about the same time I first went to school which is almost the exact time that I stopped dismissing it as 'for girls'. I know that my love of things like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Transformers is based on a heavy dose of nostalgia but I also know that shit was tight. Now if by some weird chance you were raised on the world of My Little Pony then you might be a bit weird but I would understand a bond you might feel to the show. However Bronies are coming at this from the angle of being ostensibly adults who sat down to watch a show aimed at people who as of yet cannot fucking read.
The only reason I can think of for a man who is not the father of a small girl to have any knowledge of the goings on of... I was going to look up what the name of where the My Little Ponies live is but then realised that is way more effort than I want to put into this subject. Anyway the only reason for knowing anything about it is if you are the father of a small child, girl or boy I don't discriminate, who loves it. Other wise the only possible reason for cultivating an interest in the subject is if you are researching for your paedophilia. I've spent a fair amount of time mulling it over and trying to work out what it is about this particular niche is that pisses me off so much and I think I've narrowed it down to one thing. It's My Little Pony. That's really all it is.
You see I know that right now there is a possibility that someone is reading this and thinking, “No dude you have to watch it.” No, no I fucking don't it's a TV show about brightly coloured tiny horses teaching children to share and what-not. At no point will the plot startle and amaze me, the artwork and animation is not going to blow my mind and at no point is a train made of neon lights going to derail and de-res... Watch Tron: Uprising... I'm willing to give everything a chance to surprise me, I mean I've watched the first Twilight movie... it made me want to claw out my brain and go on a killing spree but I watched it none the less and gave it it's chance. However this is where I draw the line. This far and no further say I. If anyone you know admits they've dabbled in MLP then slap the ever-loving shit out of them until they regain the ability to handle reality and shows an interest in stuff aimed at the over fives.
eddie <fuck that shit>

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