Wednesday, 28 March 2012

Live To Death

Hey everyone. Just thought I'd offer a cheerful reminder that one day you'll die. Don't worry though, so will all the people you don't like, I happily embrace the oncoming freight-train of my own mortality if it means that I can glance over at the adjacent track track and see Chad Kroeger getting squished. Everybody dies. It's the only thing about the world we live in that is completely and totally fair.

One on the left worked for charity, the one on the right was a horrible racist.

That's actually one of my, many, issues with religion. The pedlars of this hokey fiction long ago realised that some people were scared of the inevitable cessation of of their pitiful existence and they provided an alternative. Instead of telling them to just grow the fuck up, which is what they should have done. Without endings, without death, nothing in the big wide universe has the slightest meaning. How much would a book, even the best book ever, suck if it literally never ended? A lot, is the completely factual and properly scientific answer to that question. There is no point to a narrative without a denouement. Eastenders I'm looking at you. You're life is merely the story you tell yourself. All stories whether they are good or bad, have a beginning, a middle and an end. All the best stories are the stories of a life. Harry Potter is the story of the life and times of Lord Voldemort aka Tom Riddle, Star Wars is the story of Darth Vader aka Annakin Skywalker and Star Trek: The Next Generation is all about Data. You can tell because they all *SPOILER ALERT* die at the end. The fact that your life is going to end is how you know you're the star of your own life story.

Some people more so than others.

Death is your right and no-one can, will or should take it away from you. This is something that in my opinion has escaped the attention of the most of the governments of the western world who have spent a long time engaged in one of the most fruitless policy battles in the world. You see, every single lifestyle decision that you can possibly make has the same long-term net result... you die. The government can ban smoking, make you run five miles before breakfast or even make you sleep in a large Tuppaware container to keep you fresh and you will still end up completely fucking dead.

"I don't care how many time you look both ways I'm still coming for you!"

There is only one thing that you can possibly ban that would stop death and that's living. Which weirdly is exactly what it sometimes appears that those in charge of our society are trying to do. You see I do believe that those elected to the highest public offices do have a fundamentally to protect their citizens from those that wish them harm. Boredom is one of the most fundamentally harmful things that can afflict the human soul. This is why I think almost anything that you choose to do to yourself should be completely legal. I'm not saying that we just make life a complete free-for-all, everything should obviously carry honest and complete warnings but if I'm aware of the dangers I should be free to do what-so-ever I choose.

I cannot believe that I found another use for this picture again so soon.

If I want to pour acid in my face while prancing through gauntlet of swinging bricks whilst injecting cocaine into my eyeballs and singing the German National Anthem then I should be completely free to do that as long as no-one else is harmed, because fuck it I'm going to die no matter what I choose to do with my brief time flickering across the surface of this big blue ball. So I should be allowed to fill my time with whatever brief entertainment I can find and not have someone else tell me that I'm not intelligent enough to judge whether or not I actually want to do something. If the government wants to stop me from doing something because they're worried that I'll die then they're engaged in a policy that

eddie <I want to live until I die>

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