Wednesday, 4 April 2012

Brick, brick It Rhymes With Thick

I'm going to have to start today's post with an expression of gratitude to Mrs Samantha Brick. You see sometimes even I can run out of ideas and when you're casting around for something to talk about it's always helpful when an idiot makes a twat of themselves. So Samantha I thank you most humbly. For those of you that don't know Samantha Brick is a 'journalist' for the online side of the Daily Mail's bullshit manufacturing plant, she caused wide spread astonishment with her recent article entitled “'There are downsides to being this pretty.': Why Women Hate Me For Being Beautiful.” First of all, I don't give the slightest pico-fuck how beautiful you are the mere idea that you think that it is acceptable to write an article entitled that automatically makes you a total prick. Second of all, women don't hate other women for being beautiful if they did then all of the women in Hollywood would be unemployed, Hermione wouldn't be everyone's favourite Harry Potter character and there wouldn't be any female pop-stars.

This woman finds it hard being this beautiful...
imagine how bad it would be if she was attractive

Yep that's her... a woman whose physical attractiveness can most easily be described as 'meh'. Now I'm not going to focus on Samantha's level of physical attractiveness, that would be unkind... Also I'm going to be far to busy picking apart this insane narcissists personality. Now I fell compelled to point out that I'm not going to argue that women don't hate Samantha Brick, I hate her and I've only read one thing she's written. I just think that they're much more likely to hate her because she's the kind of person that would write an entire article about how beautiful she is i.e. a cunt. The article starts with Mrs Brick telling the story of how she was sent a bottle of champagne by the pilot off a plane she found herself aboard. Now given the whole factually inaccurate 'I'm beautiful' statement that this article is built around we can say that Samantha has a tenuous relationship with the truth at best. I however choose to believe that it is entirely plausible that a pilot could've taken a look at her and thought 'achievable'. Now a nice person would talk about how lovely this gesture was, were as Mrs Brick just shrugs the entire affair off as unsurprising.

To make up for making you look at Samantha Brick here's a
picture of Olivia Wilde... she's beautiful and we all like her.

The article is littered with references to bosses putting on weight, her ugly friends not inviting her to be a bridesmaids and the frank admission that she flirts with male bosses to get ahead at work. I hate bitches like that regardless of how attractive they are. Through out the article she relies on a series of massive broad generalisations that are further proof of her incredible ego. All men are constantly complimenting her and buying her things, I'm guessing she rationalises the many man who have not attempted to sleep with her as either better at hiding their feelings or homosexuals. Women have the good fortune to be slightly better drawn falling as they fall into two categories. Either spiteful harpies who cannot wait to attack and destroy Mrs Brick, or they are a member of the tiny category of confidantes who provide poor oblivious Samantha with scathing, insulting descriptions of those women who dare to dislike her.

Yet another beloved and beautiful woman. Emma Watson not only
played an awesome character but also is awesome in her own right

Mrs Brick has been attacked somewhat viscously for her stupendously arrogant article. Her new article shows how this is just further proof of her point. An article in which she states that no-one would disagree with Brad Pitt if he said he was attractive, but we'd rip Angelina Jolie apart for it. That's actually complete bollocks. If anyone on earth wrote an article saying people hate me because I'm amazing then everyone else on the planet would as one decide that they were a toss-pot. Samantha Brick isn't the victim of a bizarre form of discrimination but rather of insanely faulty logic. I don't know a single person who wouldn't sell a kidney for a night with Megan Fox. She is objectively stunning. However plenty of people hate her. An idiot could jump to the conclusion that people hate her because she's beautiful, or you could accept that it's more likely got something to do with the fact she's a terrible actress and by all accounts a terrible person.

Miss Felicia Day, if you don't love her please leave.

Samantha Brick has decided that this frankly hilarious backlash has proved her point. In fact the opposite is true. This backlash has united people from all genders, all walks of life and all levels of physical attractiveness in there shared hatred of this arrogant wank-smith. If you read both articles closely you'll realise that the only people who have ever been nice to Samantha Brick are people who want to fuck her. She takes this to mean that people hate her because she's beautiful the truth is that people hate her because she is a vacuous, arrogant, egotistical dick-head. I think that this is something we can all learn from, if people don't like you, the first person you should be looking to blame is them, if a few people don't like you then there is probably blame on both sides but if fuckin' everyone tells you that you're a cunt then you are probably a cunt.

eddie <distinctly average>

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