My Work Ethic

Some people love to work. These people are freaks of nature that I will never understand in a billion years. Even once the entire human race has been expunged from space-time, all the stars have died and the entire universe has slid towards entropy, I will not understand this trait. Allow me to explain this more fully. Confucius once said "Find a job you love and you'll never work a day in your life" I agree totally with this statement. If you have your dream job, if you awake in the morning with a smile on your face and a song in your heart if you truly passionately enjoy what you do, then you don't actually work. If you'd do it for free and the fact that you get paid is nothing more than a bonus then you are not working are you? If you'd happily spend your entire life making cupcakes then doing that for a living is not work. If you'd happily spend your entire life punching people in the face then being an MMA fighter is not work. If you are a man then being a pornstar is not work.

"I was supposed to leave 5 minutes ago...
OK fine... but I want time and a half"

The point I'm trying to make is that I get that there are certain jobs in the world that mesh up with certain people, I also get that you can draw a certain satisfaction from grinding through the shitty little jobs you have to do to get to the job you really want. No I'm referring to the jobs that no-one wants, there are billions of people in the world doing jobs that suck. I'd be OK with that if it wasn't for the fact that these people have bought into the myth of job satisfaction. Job satisfaction is a devious and evil myth. On one occasion I and my flatmate of the time drank an entire bottle of Sambuca in a single sitting afterwards I was satisfied. I once pissed away a year of my life not just completing Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas but fucking owning it like a bitch, afterwards when the I looked at the 100% I felt satisfied. Today at work I sorted out my desk... I did NOT feel satisfied.

Pictured: My Happy Place
Not Pictured: All The People I Killed There

Job satisfaction is one of those myths that was invented by the people who employ you in order to keep you under control. If they can convince you that you enjoy work then they've already won. The strange  thing about the way work works is that the fundamental reward structure. The people who are happy to work insanely hard, end up becoming CEO's. These are the people who will be able to retire at the age of 50 and spend the rest of their lives laying in a hammock drinking rum out of a coconut... and they will hate every second of it. Whereas those of us who wish to spend our lives laying in a hammock drinking rum from a coconut will spend our lives toiling for others. Currently the world is having something of an economic hiccup. I think that part of the problem is that the world has bought into the ridiculous job satisfaction myth.

If I was here you I probably wouldn't be writing this blog.
The things I do for you people... and I don't even charge.

You see the whole point of human advancement is to get to a point where we don't have to work. The one thing we should all be striving towards is a world where every pointless, dreary and un-fulfilling task is performed by robots or children from the developing world. I want us to be free to focus on the creative and fulfilling stuff that we want to do. Creative pursuits, art, literature, creating wondrous things that will be cause awe and joy throughout the world... or just laying hammocks drinking rum out of coconuts. Sadly it's very difficult to find jobs with a strong hammock bias. I'm not saying everyone should go and quit their jobs, but maybe we could all swap so that those of us with some spark of life could take the good jobs and those who were dead inside could just do the shit ones.

Anything where you have to talk to the
general public is a shit job... they're morons.

eddie <will write for cash>