Sunday, 18 September 2011

Fuck the Pope

Let me begin by posting my official stance on religion.

Whilst I personally believe that organised religion i.e. The Catholic Church, Scientology and the NAZI Party, are responsible for some of the greatest evil ever perpetrated on this earth i.e. The Crusades, 9-11 and WWII, I also hold it true that personal beliefs and convictions are exactly that, personal. I will happily debate the merits of any philosophical stance and, as long as you don't choose to ignore a wealth of scientific evidence about the natural world, your choice of whether or not to believe in a supernatural deity is entirely your choice. However I do not believe such beliefs deserve/have any form of special protection from scrutiny, if you are homophobic, you are homophobic and your justification is unimportant. This applies to all opinions you hold.


As such I want to make it clear that my musings on His Holiness Pope Benedict XVI are purely based around the person and not the religion he represents. You see the Bible has been tinkered with by the Church many times through out the centuries, remember there was a time when the Bible was written in Latin and the only way to learn Latin was from the Church. Now regardless of your thoughts on God, anyone who is willing to trust that between the year 1 C.E. and the 1604 C.E. publication of the King James Bible in English no single ounce of corruption spread into the Church and the Bible isn't showing faith but a fundamental misunderstanding of history and human nature. 

An artist's representation of the time Pope Stephen VII dug up
the corpse of Pope Formosus and put it on trial... Popes are dicks.

One of the things that the sneaky Pope's have, allegedly, put into the Bible is the concept of Papal Infallibility. 

"Whatever you hold to be true on earth I will hold true in heaven." - Jesus (citation needed)

This means that if tomorrow morning the Pope came out and said the sky is purple, then as far as God is concerned the sky is fucking purple. This is a wonderful idea... No, really. It means that whoever was responsible for the early edits and rewrites of the Bible realised that future scientific advancements may discredit the text and gave the leaders of the Church a 'Get Out Of Jail Free' card. Sadly the Church doesn't use it this way instead it uses it to deny Scientific advancement. The day Copernicus worked out that the movements of the planets were due to the Sun being the centre of our Solar System, the Pope could have came out and through P.I. made it a doctrinal truth of the Catholic Church, same for Evolution, Medicine and a million other scientific advancements that could've helped the citizens of Earth.

Alternatively you can use it build this worthy
tribute to the humble son of a carpenter.

So with all of that made clear what is my problem with sinister former member of the Hitler Youth who is now head of the Catholic Church. Well first up let's address the Hitler Youth aspect, obviously it was a matter of law that every young person had to be enrolled in the Hitler Youth, no exceptions... except that there were. The Edelweiss Pirates are something of a forgotten footnote of history, it was made-up of people who had evaded the Hitler Youth by leaving school at 14 whilst still being below the conscription age of 17. They took as symbols those things banned by the Nazi Youth Movement and flouted many of the rules and restrictions, even the name was chosen to be a corruption of something Hitler loved the Edelweiss being his favourite flower. Yes, Hitler had a favourite flower... faggot. While I'm not going to pretend that these children were making much of an ideological stand, or helping the Allied War Effort or anything like that, they were an act of rebellion against Hitler... an act of rebellion that Pope Benedict XVI didn't take part in. To do so would have been brave, bold and fraught with danger but the core teachings of Jesus say nothing about right and easy being the same thing.

Join up and maybe you can be a despot too!

Now we've moved past the little Hitler Youth distraction let's move on to the serious issue, of whether or not God thinks it's OK to fuck children? Well you see this is were P.I. rears it's ugly head again, if the Pope holds true that it is OK then God has to. Well unfortunately the Pope does think it's OK. You see back when he was just plain old Cardinal Ratzinger he was responsible for discipline within the Church. Usually this consists of just making sure no-one starts making up Bible Quotes, flicks Holy Water at the Nuns or accidentally opens the Arc of the Covenant... most of my religious knowledge comes from films.

I'm also guessing he had to stop/watch this kind of thing

However Ratzinger resided over this job while reports where flooding in of Child Abuse. Acting as Jesus would want him to do Ratzinger made sure every single one of these reprobates were handed over the police without del... oh sorry, I got a bit confused there, what he actually did is help orchestrate a massive cover up. His signature appears on multiple documents linking him directly to the attempts to keep this information from leaking. As of yet the Catholic Church has not turned over a full list of it's child molesting priests. Christians have a phrase they like to use, What Would Jesus Do? Well if you know the story of the Money Lenders in the the Temple, if the church was doing something wrong Jesus would smash the place up. So that's how you should be reacting to the church until they, by which I mean the Pope, deal with this. You see I can only think of ONE group who would help paedophiles evade justice, and that's other paedophiles.

We have no way of knowing if his penis is in a child.

This is all coupled with the Catholic Church's rampant homophobia and the continued stance against the use of contraception to stop the AIDS pandemic. I know what you're thinking, those things are in the Bible. However the Pope has Papal Infallibility, remember, if he so choose he could just scrap these parts of doctrine and massively increase the quality of living for thousands of people on Earth. What I'm about to show you is uncomfortable and I apologise in advance.

There is nothing funny about this.

The Pope has the power to do something about this. If you believe in God and believe that he is a compassionate being then you must be against this kind of suffering or how about this...

In Africa being gay can still get you killed.

The Pope has the power to make a significant difference in the world... instead he uses his power to protect an unfair doctrine that is not the word of God but the result of hundreds of Pope's previous power plays. If you believe in God feel free but know that his representative on Earth is a cunt.

In conclusion FUCK THE POPE



    That's the quote bit. It's a really complicated phrase, an argument over translating from Greek.

    Apparently the Greek grammar and English grammar don't cross-over very well. What in the original was an ambiguity of future and perfect tenses, "whatever you shall bind/loose shall have been bound/loosed" with a subtext of "look, heaven is made up, so you can do what you want with it" was routinely mistranslated to a simpler form implying precedence of either earth or heaven to suit the politics of the translator.

    In the translation they loose the ambiguity, and impose a timeline of what happens first, heaven or earth, but the point was that both exist simultaneously, i.e. heaven is a reality that changes it's form relative to what Earth's like, and if Earth's good enough you don't need the distinction.

    Obviously if you're trying to run an clandestine international extortion racket like the Catholic Church, this is somewhat inconvenient.

  2. I completely agree.
    One of my "isn't the Vatican ridiculous" musings is around the Gospel of Thomas. Of course this hasn't been proved as the the writings of the disciple Thomas, but it's just as likely to have been written by him as the rest of the gospels are to have been written by those other guys! And the Gospel of Thomas actually makes sense!
    Of course the main problem with this Gospel, in the eyes of the Vatican, is that it states that Jesus said "...the Kingdom of God is inside of you, and it is outside of you. When you come to know yourselves, then you will become known, and you will realize that it is you who are the sons of the living Father."
    Eeeek! Giving people the okay for self discovery? You mean, the riches of the church are unimportant to the quest for heavenly worth? Obviously the Vatican couldn't have that, so even though this gospel is referenced as far back as AD 222, it conveniently went missing and popped up in 1945.
    As I was looking this up, I found a discussion about the Gospel of Thomas where some lovely chap wrote;
    "The "gospel of Thomas" is heresy and is not the Word of God. Don't believe it."
    I love that one set of stories should be 'believed' when another shouldn't. Brilliant!
    I love the Catholic Church! They're so ridiculous! How anyone follows their teachings is baffling to me. And Catholics PAY TO BE MEMBERS OF THE CHURCH! Amazing! So technically, every practicing Catholic is funding the awful and unbelievable acts that they're church partake in. Surely meaning that, if they are right and there is a heaven with entrance based on your deeds in life, and repentance for such deeds (another wonderful convenience) then unless they are sorry for being Catholics, not a single one of them would get in!
    Catholics are supporting their team, when Heaven has a 'no football shirt' policy.