Wicked Witchcraft

I'd like to talk about the recent convictions of Magalie Bamu and Eric Bikubi. For those who aren't aware Bamu and Bikubi were recently convicted of the horrific and brutal murder of Bamu's 15 year old brother Kristy. Kristy's post mortem revealed 130 seperate injuries inflicted over the course of four days. He is reported to of begged for death before finally slipping beneath the water in the bath and finally drowning. Why was this done? What possible justification could these peopl have for their actions? Well it's simple really, they believed that Kristy was a witch. I'm going to repeat that because it bares repeating. TWO GROWN ADULTS KILLED A 15 YEAR OLD BOY BECAUSE HE WAS A WITCH! Please take a few seconds for that to sink in. A boy is dead because two people were allowed to believe that witches exist. How was this allowed to happen? Who is teaching people, of any age, that this kind of horse-shit is real?

Well it wasn't going to be Harry Potter, was it.

Whilst there has been no reporting on the religious tendencies of Bamu and Bikubi, I think the fact that they believed in witches and believed them to be bad indicates they followed one of the branches of Christianity. There are people on this ball of rock who hold the bible up to be an airtight bundle of facts. Let's see what this fascinating document filled with a message of love and harmony have to say on the subject of witchcraft.

Exodus 22:18 - “Thou shall not suffer a witch to live.”

A better quote would be

Eddie 2:15 - “Witchcraft isn't real. Grow up.”

The bible makes several references to the subject of witchcraft which is a huge amount of time to waste on something that is, fundamentally, made up especially when it utterly fails to mention dinosaurs, germs or atoms. It's particularly odd because God would obviously know whether or not witches were real. So either witches are real or the bible is wrong. If we've determined that one detail in the bible is wrong then the validity of every section is called in to doubt, and before you know it the entire house of cards comes tumbling down.

This is what happens to religion when you use logic on it.

Instead the people who make their money off of the belief industry choose to ignore the inconvenience of reality and spread the 'truth' of witchcraft, demonic possession and all the other nonsense in their magic book. I'm not saying that Kristy Bamu would still be alive today if it wasn't for religion... Sorry that's actually exactly what I'm saying. Also I think its important to be clear that I don't believe that every Christian would murder someone for being a witch. However all christians do believe that they have been instructed by God to kill anyone they believe is a witch, and those mother-fuckers fucking love them some God.

They're not keen on people though.

If a drug kills someone, or even if it doesn't, it gets banned. If someone is killed trying some new, and stupid, activity it gets banned. If someone is taught to believe really stupid things and kills someone no-one even questions it. Christianity is a gateway faith. Once you've started to raise people to unquestionably believe in one thing then you've paved the way for them to believe other things without question.

Like that the earth is regularly visited by unrealistic aliens

I want to be clear, I have the utmost respect for the murderers in this case. If I met a witch, and I was certain they were both really a witch and a evil, I'd kill that bitch faster than you could say Avada Kedavra. It's fuckin' heroic. A lifetime in prison is a small price to pay for the safety of all mankind. It's the fuckers who diddled with their minds enough to make them believe this shit that are to blame for this. As an atheist I lay the blame squarely at the feet of a long chain of con-men with a penchant for frocks and silly hats, if you're a believer then it's all Gods fault.

So please in remembrance of Kristy Bikubi keep religion away from your children.

eddie <Expelliarmus!> 

The War On God

Well I've been pretty 'busy' watching an ass-load of high quality cinema, and a Woody Allen film, so I've kind of put being awesome on a back-burner for the moment. So instead of writing a fairly pointless update I thought I'd instead write about God.

Shown here in what is definitely his best film.

Now I want to be specific here. I am talking about the God of the Bible. I've chosen his particular deity as he's the one I know the most about and is he one that first sent me spiralling away in revulsion. Atheism is the belief that there are no G/god/s and all of us have arrived at that conclusion for different reasons. However the belief among the religiously inclined is that convincing us of the existence of the magic beard in the sky is the only hurdle they face in getting us on their side. So let's remove that let's say that you've somehow convinced me that God exists, I don't know maybe you've shown me a picture of the two of you hanging out together, my first question would be simple “What should we do about him?”

Unfortunately invading through Belgium probably only works once.

That's right if God is real then it's the start of a war. Why? Well God created man in his own image. Now the idea that this is a reference to physical form is ridiculous, however God does show a whole host of human emotions and flaws through out the bible that make it clear that we share a psychological template. That allows us to make certain assumptions like that God is clearly a homosexual... Seriously we all know that homophobia is a sublimated fear of your own homosexual urges, and God is homophobic he makes that clear in the Leviticus, QED God must be a homosexual... who can watch you shower.

As we've discussed previously this image ratifies even my most dubious statements.

Look I've clearly chosen that as a humorous starting point, but it's just one of a whole raft of things about God that make me view him as an insidious tyrant. Let me ask you a hypothetical question, if you saw a woman getting raped and it was easily within your power to stop it would you? The answer is of course yes. We'd probably try even if the odds were massively against us. We call the people who do this shit heroes and hold them up as paragons of virtue. God doesn't though. He just watches. We're told this is because of free-will, but God didn't make everyone equally strong, he didn't design woman with an armour plated cunt-shutter, so he clearly doesn't give a fuck about the free will of the victim does he. Well at least we know the rapist goes to hell... Where he's treated really badly by Satan? Why exactly? Satan hates God why is he doing his dirty work, Satan is probably going to give you a choice of fresh rape victims. OK, lets pretend that makes an ounce of sense and ask this question why are we being judged by our moral inferior? Seriously God is the most bloodthirsty and evil character in the history of fiction...

... and that's a category that includes this man.

Hands up if you've ever killed anyone. I'm guessing there are very few hands up here. God commits genocide right at the beginning of the Bible... that's his own propaganda. He floods the earth because it's all gone tits up, killing EVERYONE well except one guy and his family. He doesn't have a chat with them first, he doesn't give them a warning shot fuck he doesn't even start by only killing HALF of the people. He starts with colossal fuck-witted genocide. Which is only the start by the way because all of those people go to hell FOREVER! We as a species don't do that. There are no assessments, no parole hearings, no rehabilitation programs, no just eternal torture. Torture by the way is another one of those things that humans think is wrong. Not God though he fucking loves that shit. You can say it's Satan doing the torture but only because God let's him.

Also Satan is more bad-ass and has better music.

I'm an atheist by the standards of most faiths that makes me automatically immoral, because it only counts to be good if you do it out of fear of punishment, but here's a list of things I would never do;

• Watch a paedophile rape a child and not intervene.
• Invent Cancer. (Don't give me that 'population control' bullshit there are easier ways)
• Cause a massive tsunami that would kill millions of people.
• Allow the Holocaust.
• Make every person who died in the Holocaust endure an eternity of rape and torture for being Jewish. (Wrong faith goes to hell, it's in the book)
• Hand down a list of rules for others to follow when I not only won't follow them but also have no intention of following them.
• Let babies die.
• Make people live in an environment that cannot support them.
• Design a parasitic worm that blinds children as part of it's life cycle.
• Create and distribute AIDS.
• Allow my words to be used as a basis for allowing slavery, the subjugation of women and the prosecution of homosexuals.

Yet, people expect me to get on my knees once a week and tell the guy who does do all of this that he's amazing. Fuck off. If these were the policies of a human being running a country on earth there would not be a person alive who wouldn't support a military intervention to remove him from power and put him on trial for crimes against humanity. If you believe in God and you believe that all of the things list above are wrong then they are wrong regardless of who decided to do it be it God, Man or Hyper-Intelligent Alien Overlord. So stop worshipping this guy and start working out a reasonable plan to remove him from power.

I can't explain why but I think this should be part of the plan

eddie <in the war between heaven and hell, I fight for earth>